Life After Meth …

A couple of days ago - I was talking to my baby sister on the telephone. 

I don’t remember what we were talking about in particular.  But something she said did stick in my mind.  She commented on how trusting I was and how paranoid she is.  Now believe me the whole family knows how paranoid she is.  Yet I had never really thought about me and trust …

She’s right - I am quite trusting.

Trust has always been something Craig and I shared deeply.  Which is probably why we’ve been able to stay married for so darn long (28 years this past October.)  The only time he ever lied to me, was the first time I asked him if he was doing Meth.   The second time I asked him he told the truth.  I wasn’t sure how my trustful nature was going to play out  from that day forward?  In all honesty my trust for Craig never diminished.  I don’t know why it didn’t diminish.  I suppose he’s quite lucky it didn’t diminish.  (And no I’m not stupid.)  Having faith and trust in people is just in my nature.  Trust is a tricky thing though …

How are you with trust?  Is it easy or difficult for you?  

All the self-help books & guru’s  talk about fighting fair in a relationship.  Which is terrific in theory - but can be a bit difficult in practice.  Last night Craig and I practiced …

My side:

At the time of the fight - I thought I was irritated at his motorcycle getting left behind at my sister & brother-in-law’s house Saturday night.  This was now Monday night and we still hadn’t picked it up.  I didn’t think it was cool to be taking up space in their garage with all the winter weather we were getting.  Apparently I communicated my thoughts a bit ‘naggy’ and Craig didn’t appreciate it!

His side:

Saturday night at the family get together & meal, he decided to stay longer than I.   He was having fun playing board games with some of my family. During this time - the weather got crappy.  The temperature dropped and heavy snow started coming down.  (Not exactly prime for bringing his bike home.)  So he got a ride home from my brother-in-law.  Then 9pm that night he got called in to work a 16 hour shift at the city street department for snow removal.  Then home for 8 hours and back in for almost another 16 hours.  Which leads us to Monday night.  When his FATHER (Who recently divorced his mother after 50 years of marriage to marry a younger woman calls.)

Conclusion:

After our mutual temper tantrums Monday night - we went and got the bike home.  When we got back in our house … we sort of found our own quiet spaces for awhile.  Then we talked.  He admitted he wasn’t really all that annoyed with me wanting to get the bike home - it was the call from his dad.  I admitted even though I loved him spending time with my family - I was a little frustrated he stayed so much later than me.  I felt ditched. After saying what was really bothering us … we were over it.  Honesty in communication - fair fighting!  As Borat would say, “Very Nice!”

by dawn