Dec 02 2008
Fair Fighting …
All the self-help books & guru’s talk about fighting fair in a relationship. Which is terrific in theory - but can be a bit difficult in practice. Last night Craig and I practiced …
My side:
At the time of the fight - I thought I was irritated at his motorcycle getting left behind at my sister & brother-in-law’s house Saturday night. This was now Monday night and we still hadn’t picked it up. I didn’t think it was cool to be taking up space in their garage with all the winter weather we were getting. Apparently I communicated my thoughts a bit ‘naggy’ and Craig didn’t appreciate it!
His side:
Saturday night at the family get together & meal, he decided to stay longer than I. He was having fun playing board games with some of my family. During this time - the weather got crappy. The temperature dropped and heavy snow started coming down. (Not exactly prime for bringing his bike home.) So he got a ride home from my brother-in-law. Then 9pm that night he got called in to work a 16 hour shift at the city street department for snow removal. Then home for 8 hours and back in for almost another 16 hours. Which leads us to Monday night. When his FATHER (Who recently divorced his mother after 50 years of marriage to marry a younger woman calls.)
Conclusion:
After our mutual temper tantrums Monday night - we went and got the bike home. When we got back in our house … we sort of found our own quiet spaces for awhile. Then we talked. He admitted he wasn’t really all that annoyed with me wanting to get the bike home - it was the call from his dad. I admitted even though I loved him spending time with my family - I was a little frustrated he stayed so much later than me. I felt ditched. After saying what was really bothering us … we were over it. Honesty in communication - fair fighting! As Borat would say, “Very Nice!”
by dawn
