Nov 12 2008
It Was Work, To Stay With Him …
I know that doesn’t sound romantic, or sexy, but reality is marriage takes work. Especially when a partner makes a messed up choice - like getting involved with drugs! But for me … him making a mistake wasn’t a deal breaker. The deal breaker would be him not correcting the mistake.
Neither one of us has ever been afraid of hard work - emotional or physical. And correcting meth addiction was a lot of both, for both of us. I think at one point or another, we both felt like that little hamster lifting the barbell & weights. Overwhelmed, but with an, “I’m gonna do it” spirit.
After 24 years of marriage, you just don’t toss somebody aside! My momma raised me better than that. And his family (the root of 90% of his issues) was horrible. His mother literally told me to kick him to the curb. His family had zero participation in his recovery - zero!
They were too involved in building their wealth, infidelity, and avoiding any emotion whatsoever. But do you want to hear some youthful wisdom, that our oldest son told him? He told his dad, “Your family doesn’t deserve you!“
Simple, sincere, and it caught my husband’s attention.
He began to shift his focus from the past hurts from his family … towards today & tomorrow.
Recovery is work - hard work. Not just for the user … but for the spouse, children, and loved ones. It is so worth it though! Our marriage, and family, regained the joy & hope for the future - that we had lost for a couple of years.
