Life After Meth …

I am saying good-bye to blogging at http://lifeaftermeth.today.com

I will now be blogging at http://meandcraig.blogspot.com

Have your ever heard the phrase “Be careful what you wish for - it may come true!”

That is exactly what happened when Craig completed his meth rehab.

And it was kind of weird - because he was no longer “the bad boy.”

Instead of ME being the good one …

WE WERE NOW THE GOOD ONES.

Very interesting and definitely a change of pace for us.

But I was ready for it -

Ready to meet the new normal.

A normal where Craig was able to deal with his emotions.

A normal where Craig made healthy choices.

A normal where Craig was responsible.

Some people in our lives still won’t accept our new normal.  Like his very own mother, and brother.  Even some of his old friends. And it’s kind of sad!  But we are staying healthy and strong.  Confident in our new normal of healthy and responsible choices.

Photo Credit: Cody

A few years back,

When Craig was going through rehab and our life was in chaos -

My darling niece gave me the best Valentine gift ever!

It was a cute little red-heart-fabric drawstring pouch she had sewn herself -

Filled with some interesting items …

And a little card explaining why they were included in the pouch.

They were:

1. A pencil - To remind me to write down my blessings every day.
2. A tea bag - To remind me to relax daily and go over my list of blessings.
3. A piece of chewing gum - To remind me that if I stick with it, I can reach my goals.
4. A bandage - To remind me to heal hurt feelings, mine or someone else’s.
5. A mint - To remind me that I am worth a mint to my family and friends.
6. A candy kiss - To remind me that everyone needs a kiss or a hug every day.
7. An eraser - To remind me that it’s okay to make mistakes.  That’s how we learn.
8. A rubber band - To remind me to be flexible.  Things might not always go the way I want, but it will work out.
9. A toothpick - To remind me to pick out the good qualities in others.

I just love this Valentine gift -

And still have it to this day!

Wouldn’t this be a terrific Valentine gift to make for friends and loved ones?

Especially with the stressful times we are living in …

I know I’m making a few for my friends -

Simple Life Lessons In A Bag

personal finance

A mentor is a person who gives you encouragement and support - in a specific area of your life.

Having a mentor will totally amp up your motivation and increase your confidence.

The mentoring relationship also gives you a built in accountability - which always helps increase achievement.

Mentors can make it easier for you to reach your full potential.

At different points in your life you will want different mentors.

For example: educational, financial, parenting, career, entrepreneurial, marriage, spiritual, etc.

I personally have had multiple mentors over the course of my life.

All fulfilled a need or goal I had at the time - and I am still friends with them all.

It is amazing how generous people can be with their knowledge and wisdom.

Finding a mentor is an idea worth embracing…

Think about an area of your life that you have a goal in.

Then think about somebody you admire, know, or want to know that has achieved a level of success in that area.

You could possibly find your mentor through church, family, friendships, school, sports, or work.

Presently, I am being mentored by an awesome woman who is guiding me with my entrepreneurial goals.

She is very successful - and has a totally different personality than I do.

So she is able to help me see things through a different set of eyes.

It’s really cool, and I am so grateful for the experience.

Think about finding yourself a mentor today…

It could be one of the smartest moves you make in 2009!

It’s a good thing I don’t have to deal with too many live human beings today …

Because I am in a real pissy mood!

I think what really threw me off -

Was right after my surgery I felt pretty darn good.

Those first two days at home were fine.

But then the morphine they had put in my spinal fluid wore off.

And I woke up to one big OUCH of pain!

And besides that …

I’m feeling sorry for myself -

That the pathology came back finding cancer cells.

Bitch cancer!

(And since they took my ovaries … it’s instant menopause for me too!)

GEEZ …

I’m cranky, pissy, and sore!

Thank God Craig has been such a doll baby!

He took time off work to stay home and care for me.

And he did an awesome job of it!

It sort of freaked me out a little …

I didn’t know he had it in him!

It must be LOVE!

dawn (a.k.a. iowahippiechick)

Awhile back … Yahoo Personals had an interesting article on the seven things no one tells you about marriage. The list included:

1. You will look at this person lying next to you and wonder, is this it? Forever?
2. You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (an maybe wake up even madder).
4. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
5. A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict, it simply means a couple is trying to get it right.
6. You’ll realize you can only change yourself.
7. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what your really made of.

This is a very accurate list.  And you should read the full article to find out more on each of their bullet points - Click here.

I thought it was a really good read … because it was about the REAL stuff in marriage. 

The stuff that is not always easy, or fun, and actually involves work. 

What did you think of the article?

Something I’ve been meaning to write about is gut instincts. 

Those funny little feelings that tell your stomach something is true - even if your heart doesn’t want to believe it. 

I had those gut feelings about Craig using.  But after being married for over two decades - I wanted to believe my heart more …

Even though I would not consider myself an enabler.  I did justify to myself not following up on my gut instincts:

1. He’s not spending any money on it.
2. He’s a night owl … with an erratic work schedule.
3. He’s always been a sort of wild & crazy personality type.
4. He’s not getting skinny.
   
5. He’s not displaying any of the ‘typical’ signs of meth use.

But you know what?  Facts are facts.  He was using anyway - just like my gut instinct was trying to tell me.  I should have listen more quickly.  It would have possibly saved myself, our sons, and even Craig some pain.  Or maybe not - I don’t know?  But I do know that I will always be more vigilant at listening to my gut instincts. 

Because if I think it’s true … it’s probably true!

Can you guess that I’m talking about my husband Craig?

Yes … he is the one!  I suddenly realized last week - how glorious it is to actually have him living his life as  a responsible adult.  Even though he has been clean for a bit over 4 years.  Change can be subtle (His behavior changes.)  Especially when you are talking about a sort of wild & crazy personality type to begin with.  But you know what?  The man has changed!  He is dealing with being a grown-up in a grown-up world.  In other words … behaving responsible.  And actually quite compassionately!

I first truly noticed it a few weeks ago.  When we had to put to sleep one of our beloved black lab dogs.  We had Fugee (the black lab)  for over 11 years, and his cancer had taken a toll.  It was time to release him from his pain.  We had never had to do anything like this before.  I really thought I was going to be the only ’strong’ one, to be with Fugee while the Vet administered the shot.  But bless Craig’s heart … he stayed in the room with us.  He cried as he comforted Fugee.  He cried as he comforted me.  He was willing to deal with a hard reality of our life.  A huge change from when he was using … huge!

Then last week - I was informed that I have to have a full hysterectomy.  With a distinct possibility of already having cancer.  My surgery is this coming Monday.  (When he was using, this would have more than likely set him off.)  But not now!  He is being wonderfully supportive of me and my needs during this ordeal.  An incredible change in his behavior choices!

It’s truly nice having another responsible adult in the house. 

I’m so proud of him! 

Life is sweet … even through the difficult times!!!

dawn

“It is only in the stillness and simplicity of presence — when we are
aware of what we are experiencing, when we are here with it as it
unfolds — that we can really appreciate our life and reconnect with
the ordinary magic of being alive on this earth.” 

- Excerpted from an article called Everyday Zen, written by Alexandra Barron, in the 2008 winter issue of Successful Living magazine. You can click here to sign up for a free charter subscription!

Dr. Andrew Weil says that this is the single most effective relaxation technique.  And the foundation of any meditation practice.  All that fancy description of breathing means, is deep, rhythmic inhalation of your breath.  Which really does relax your body and focus your mind.

Slowing down and taking a moment to think about breathing is an awesome technique for meditating.  Which sounds complicated.  But it’s so not.  All meditation really is …

Is being completely in the moment.

One of the ways I achieve this - is by listening.  Really listening.  Especially when I’m in a larger group of people.  I totally focus on all the individual things that I hear.  Usually from the nearest sound (which is usually the loudest) to the farthest sound.  I listen … really listen.

This literally is everyday zen meditation!

Give it a try when your doing something tomorrow-  

Just focus on the moment at hand! 

Learning healthy ways to relax is so important in life …

What do you do to relax? 

Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

Have a healthy tomorrow …

dawn

Is an idea Craig and I learned from his rehab and therapy … And was quite helpful for both of us.  Basically what it boils down to, is letting go of all the Should-Have-Beens, so many of us hold on to. 

You know what I’m talking about - don’t you?  The “I should have saved $100K by now.“  Or the “I should have been in upper management by now.“

For Craig, it was all about being a real estate guy.   Besides his day job of course.  Since childhood he had been groomed to buy, rehab, and rent out properties.  Building his fortune via real estate.  Which is awesome, and we did this for two decades.  The upside being it supplemented our income during this time period.  But the down side was an emotional and physical burnout, for Craig partially contributing to his drug abuse …

He eventually realized he didn’t want to do real estate anymore.   So, he had to formulate a new vision for his future.  Long story short … he had to rewrite his story.  Furthermore - we had to rewrite OUR story. 

It’s kind of exciting in a way - new beginnings and all. 

(The potential of possibilities can be a pretty cool thing!)

It’s a New Year …

The perfect time to let go of your ‘Should-Have-Beens’ and rewrite your story … because there is life after meth!

Best wishes for a healthy and prosperous 2009 New Yea!! 

dawn